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How can I reconcile
A life led with pain and fake smiles
To paint the picture of better past times
When all was cohesive, above all the lies
And countless attacks seemed in the rear view…
But how wrong was I, it began anew.
I don’t even know how to explain its start
Brought forth from a person with such a kind heart
And then another, a mother to me
Unleashed most incredibly
Against my poor husband, who try as he has
Can never earn favor from his mom and his dad
They’re stuck behind screams and lies and pride
and diligently stand by another man’s side
Who has no care to do as he should
But instead wreaked havoc with whatever he could
And tore down our family with hate so raw
That we’ll never recover, but must follow the law
Act like all is fine, all is well
Let the accusers ring the final bell.
 
Don’t look for apologies, retractions or such
So long as they’re happy, at the cost of so much.
How can I reconcile…

Where was it born, this hatred of yours?
As out of your mouth the bitterness pours
Words that cut deeply, released from their sheath
No longer lurking and kept safe underneath
 
You spewed out your venom
With baseless attacks
And now stand so haughty
Not taking it back
 
You never once thought
Of how it might feel
To be one who’s lost
The trust you would steal
 
You had us all fooled and played a good game
And surely relations won’t be the same
Time marches on, no admission or sorrow
No more looking for changes tomorrow
 
Your heart can be grand
When given the chance
But quickly it turns
In a perilous dance
 
I hope it was worth it
Did you gain what you sought?
For money you spoiled
With hardly a thought.

There’s a light out there that’s always at the end of my path…
A beacon of hope that helps to distract
From the darkness all around
 
I sometimes see it right away, and sometimes it takes a bit longer
But once it’s shown I’m a little stronger
And hold my head high.
 
I surge forward with more confidence and clarity when it’s in view
The doubts dissipate and thoughts are anew
As I know it should have been.
 
Perhaps one day I’ll wise up, and look for light from the start
Out of necessity and a fragile heart
And you’ll be there waiting.

Sometimes it’s so hard to tell
Both sides tell their stories well
You must be keen and sit a spell
To see who creeps back in their shell
 
            In anger they can scream in vain
            You plug your ears to stop the pain
            And wait for it to calm again
            Until more ground they try to gain
 
The cycle will continue on
For baseless claims go on and on
Till time crawls and the months are gone
You decide whose truth has brightly shown
 
            Only then the madness stops
            Voices quiet and tension drops
            Pressure slows, no veins are popped
            The truth has risen to the top

Somewhere over yonder

   are the things you gave to me

Sometimes on a birthday or

   Wrapped under a tree

A token of your love or maybe

   Just to show you care

A thing to stand in place of you

   At times you weren’t there.

They all brought special feelings on

   The day they came my way

But now they’re simply meaningless

   Your love has gone astray

And I am left to wonder if

   You ever were so true

The things you gave are left behind

   As are my thoughts of you.