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Have you ever felt your insides ripping apart?
 
I have.
 
No accident, all was planned.
 
From daily lunch to stabbing pains
 
Then never having love again.
 
How quickly things can turn around
 
A friend in you cannot be found.
 
You’re happy now
 
There is that
 
We’ll never have that friendship back.

I told you how I felt
I told you what I’d seen
I brought you in my confidence and trusted time between
I never thought to worry
I never thought to doubt
I lived as though your faith in me I’d never be without
I worked so hard to make you proud
I worked so hard to thrive
And now feel as if I’ll die – my heart is bursting wide
There is no honor given
There is no recognition
All the time I’ve served and loved dismissed in this new mission
I’m trying to be positive
Perhaps you just forgot
Everything I’ve done and said…was it really all for naught?

It’s gone in an instant…
Had I known I would never have risked it
And now here I am without a chance of taking it from existence.
Words are simple, but yet
They can be shared but some you can’t forget
and they will never be regathered, there’s no kind of net.
And now the pain I’ve laid
on ones so dear, I should never have said
thoughts not my own, and my debt may never be paid.

It sickens me how you get your glory
They believe all you say, your made up story
Of how things are, and how they’ve been
When you’re never around, yet they listen again.
Like you they believe what your mouth has to say
Made up in your mind, you look better that way!
You never care who you make look bad
And how hypocritical you are to act sad
But loyal they are to the one who will holler
And do all it takes for the almighty dollar

a moment in time
happens when
you come around
and like the wind
a hush falls over
all in sight
and rhythms change
and nothing’s right
the air is heavy
dim and dark
all the voices
lose their spark
and wait until
the cloud is gone
and takes the fear
of all is wrong